


The First Time (Since Forever)

by Dirty_Corza



Series: Mayra Hawke [9]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Communication, Emotional Sex, F/M, Other, Parenthood, Polyamory Negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-08 00:59:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10374252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dirty_Corza/pseuds/Dirty_Corza
Summary: Mayra finally admits she's in love... In more ways than one.





	

Mayra didn't hear Justice when he joined her outside Derora's room, but she hadn't needed to. No matter how the distance from Kirkwall had mellowed him, there was still a pale glow to denote the difference between man and spirit.

"You will miss her."

Mayra swallowed tightly, turning away from their daughter's room before she replied. "Is that so surprising?"

"I-" his hand was hesitant as he reached out to her cheek, giving it a gentle caress, his thumb following the curve of the tattoo under her eye. "I did not mean to imply that would be a surprise. Accusing you of not caring for her would be unjust."

Mayra couldn't help the small laugh at that, a smile spreading on her face as she looked up at Justice, surprised at the way his lips were tugged slightly upwards as well. "She isn't the only one I'll miss, you know."

His fingers paused, resting softly against her skin. "You are not speaking only of Anders."

She shook her head, reaching up to take place her hand over his. "No. I- I was never speaking of only Anders. Even if neither of you could hear it, then."

She was surprised to hear his breath catch at that, his glow brightening for a moment. "This... is pleasing. I want- Mayra-"

"Shhh..." she spoke softly, turning to press a kiss to his palm before pulling his hand from her cheek. "We should continue this in our room. Not right outside Derora's."

Justice's eyes flared bright again as he nodded, fingers lingering against her skin for another moment before he pulled away. "You are right. This is not the place to speak of such things."

Mayra took a deep breath as he turned away, watching him stride purposefully back to their room. It seemed so strange to have the courage to say those words now, when she hadn't before. There was still fear pooling in her stomach, fear of what Anders would say if he knew. Fear of him looking at him with hurt in his eyes if he saw her looking at Justice like this, after years of being unwilling to go back exactly as they had been.

"Mayra?" She was shocked out of her thoughts by Anders' voice calling out to her from their room. She looked down the hall to see him standing in their doorway, a look of sleepy confusion on his face.

"Coming, love," she called back softly, taking a deep breath before walking the length of the hall. It felt so much longer like this, anticipation and worry warring with each other for dominance in her mind.

By the time she made it back to their doorway, Anders was reaching for her, one hand going behind her back to pull her close while the other gently tilted her face up so she could see his small smile. "Justice said you needed to talk?"

Her breath left her in a rush as she let him lead her through the door, her hands pressing firmly against his chest, though she didn't push him away. "We've needed to talk about this for a long time. I didn't want to do it like this."

That had Anders letting his hand fall from her face, pulling her close in an embrace, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "In the middle of the night while standing in our doorway in just our nightshirts? Or with your trip only a few days away?"

She gave a small laugh, letting her arms wrap around him in return. "Oh, I always knew it'd happen in nightshirts. That's why I insisted on making them."

He laughed with her, giving her a squeeze before easing up and taking half a step back so he could look at her properly. "You keep on adding more reasons to that list, you know."

"I can have more than one reason to make us clothing."

"Of course you can, love." There was something teasing in his voice as he turned, heading to their bed. "But if you won't admit they were practice pieces while you worked on your stitches, we should get back to what it is you actually need to talk about, Justice's orders."

"The uneven hemming was an artistic choice," Mayra teased back as she followed him into bed, sitting curled against his side. "As for talking... Well. Justice is why we need to talk."

"Is this about you falling in love with him?"

The question made Mayra start, looking up at Anders, her eyes wide. "That's- I didn't mean-"  
"Shh..." Anders leaned in, pressing a kiss to the corner of Mayra's mouth. "It's okay, love. He-he makes a good third. I don't feel that way about him, but if you do? He's helped us a lot in our relationship. More than I ever thought he could, in Kirkwall."

Mayra's breath left her in a rush as she stared for a moment, processing his words. "A-a lot has changed, since Kirkwall. But- I think the biggest change, for me, has been realizing how much the two of you are different people."

Anders gave a nod, putting his arm around her shoulder to draw her close. "That's actually been one of the biggest changes for me, since Kirkwall, too. I-I though I had- changed him. But the way you talked to him, to both of us? You showed me that maybe it wasn't me that had changed him, but that city."

Mayra smiled, a soft smile, full of fondness as she looked up at him. "That isn't the only thing that has changed you two."

"Oh?"

She reached up, pulling his head down toward hers so their lips met, just a gentle brush. "Fatherhood. The two of you make wonderful fathers." She felt his breath catch at the kiss, his eyes wide.

"Mayra..."

She leaned in again, lips pressing more firmly against his now, her heart racing in her chest. "I-I've wanted to do that for ages now."

"And why didn't you?"

She gave a breathless little laugh, her face still nearly pressed to his. "I couldn't let myself kiss you, or kiss him, without you knowing how I feel."

There was a pause, a moment where Anders was still and hints of blue shown through the golden honey of his eyes. "Mayra." He said her name, voices melding together in a way Mayra hadn't heard in years. "I- we- is this, is this what you wanted?"

Mayra gave a small nod and they responded with a kiss unlike any she had had from her lover before. Lovers, before. She gave a breathy moan at the realization, that was why this was different. It wasn't merely Anders kissing her, there were hints of Justice, too, a crackle of fade along her lips, a more determined kiss, as opposed to the languid way Anders kissed her. Anders always kissed her like he wanted it to last forever, lazy even in his desperation, like he never wanted to let her go. With Justice, though, there was more focus, lips and teeth and tongue moving as if they were determined to find the perfect way to get her moaning into his mouth. Which he was finding in abundance, no matter how Mayra tried to keep her voice down.

When she finally pulled away, gasping for breath, she found herself straddling their thighs, her hands tangled in their hair. "That was a very intense kiss."

Her statement was met with a soft chuckle, more Anders than Justice, as he met her gaze, cheeks flushed with arousal. "It- it was. Very, very intense."

Slowly, she leaned in, pressing her forehead to his. "Will you forgive me for being such an idiot?"

"What are we forgiving you for?" he asked, one hand reaching up to brush the hair a out of her face.

"For only finding the words to say this, to ask for this, when I have to leave so soon."

"Oh love," he sighed, letting their hand pause to caress her cheek. "Taking this at your own pace is not something to forgive you for. Pressing you to admit things when you were not ready for them? That would be unjust."

She couldn't help the way her smile spread at that, tilting her head so their lips could meet again. She let her desire spur her closer, her hands trailing down his chest, over his hips until she reached the uneven hem of his nightshirt. There, her fingers paused, and she almost pulled away from the kiss, except for the way his hand moved to tangle in her hair, their other hand letting go of her waist to urge her hand upward, the silent permission clear even before he gasped into the kiss.

"Please."

That one, muffled word was all Mayra needed, and then cloth was being pushed up, just enough so that their hips met with no fabric between them. She whimpered at the contact, grinding her hips down against him. "Anders, Justice, please~"

The kiss softened at that, though he held her there, where their breath mingled, where lips could muffle moans as he let his fingers tease at her folds. In moments, he had her shuddering against him, gasping for breath. "You make me want to rush this, love." It was Anders' who spoke then, his voice alone, though his skin still nearly crackled with Justice's energy. "Rush into the moment and then stay there all night."

She gave a huff of breathless laughter as she reached down to stroke his cock, her touch light and teasing against his skin. "I wouldn't mind, you know. I just- I need you, both of you."

Anders answered with a groan, his hips raising in an effort to thrust into her loose fist, "It's been- it's been years love. You think either of us would last?"

That had her grinning, leaning forward to press open mouthed kisses along his stubled jaw. "Are you doubting your warden stamina?"

"Mayra." His tone was harsh as he said her name, Justice's tone blending in again as he turned to kiss her jaw in return, his groan of pleasure and want nearly a growl. Slowly, gently, he worked two of his fingers inside her as he lightly nipped his way down her throat. "I want to mark you, to leave you a reminder of this that won't fade for days and days."

"Please," she moaned, grinding her hips more firmly down, gasping as he adjusted the angle of his fingers inside her. "I want- want to remember this, that this happened. The three of us, at least once."

He bit down at the base of her throat as he eased another finger into her, a deep moan in his throat that sent shivers down her spine. She could feel it, every sound muffled against her skin, from her chest to her core, pooling into a warm bundle of arousal.

"Please," she begged again, stroking his cock more firmly, giving a gentle squeeze as she neared the base. "I need you."

He didn't speak as he drew his fingers away, bringing them to his own cock to spread her slick over it before he helped her position him for penetration.

She slid down in one slow movement, holding her breath until her hips were pressed against his, his cock fully seated inside her. She was surprised at the way her hands shook as she fisted his shirt, holding tight as she focused on breathing steadily.

"Mayra, are you-"

"I should have married you when you asked." The words came unbidden as she rocked her hips against his. "When we first arrived, I-I should have said yes."

"Mayra-"

She leaned back, urging him to turn his face toward hers so she could press another soft kiss to his lips, trembling in his arms as they slowly moved together, pretending it wasn't tears that were dampening her cheeks. "I love you." She pressed her eyes closed as she said the words, leaning in to press her lips to his to stop the flow of words that wanted to follow. There were so many things she had left unsaid over the years, so many things she was afraid she was running out of time to say now, so many fears of what would happen in the coming days. And somehow, they were all tangled in this moment, making every touch, every sensation more poignant as they made love.

**Author's Note:**

> A special shoutout to Pike for encouraging this so much. <3It would not have been written without you.


End file.
